Fine. If I can't have a Komodo dragon as a pet -- that being a rather bad idea -- then maybe I can have an Asian water monitor.
Asian Water Monitor
Adult Size: 3rd longest lizard in the world, attaining maximum lengths of 8½ to 9 feet. Most adults: 3 - 5 feet.
Range: Eastern India and Sri Lanka, eastward through southeast Asia, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines.
Habitat: Tropical forests.
Captive Lifespan: 12 to 20 Years
Care Level: Advanced
BTW, as I read up on Komodo dragons, I discovered that baby Komodo dragons display the same behavior as your typical Trump-era Republican pol … From this Smithsonian article:
Because large Komodos cannibalize young ones, the young often roll in fecal material, thereby assuming a scent that the large dragons are programmed to avoid. Young dragons also undergo rituals of appeasement, with the smaller lizards pacing around a feeding circle in a stately ritualized walk. Their tail is stuck straight out and they throw their body from side to side with exaggerated convulsions.
Here's a YouTube video of Clyde the Asian Water Monitor. He lives at Wildlife World Zoo just outside Phoenix …
OK, that's all for now …