Tuesday, January 24, 2017

My Trump "U" Degree and a Marriage Proposal for My Betrothed -OR- The BIG "Y" Chronicles, Reloaded

Tuesday late morning.

I'm trying to get back on a regular work schedule after the upheavals and disruptions of the past few weeks. I'm not quite there yet. And probably never will be.

Yesterday's storminess -- squally rain showers mixed with the occasional bit of sleet (though not here in D.C. proper), a gusty wind, and temps only around 40F -- has ended. Today is just seasonably chilly (for late January) and breezy, temps around 43F.

As for snow, that is looking ever-more-unlikely this winter, but, honestly, I don't care.


For tonight, I think I should return to discussing in intimate detail my betrothed, BIG Y'EYEMAH, a.k.a., the BIG "Y"

So dainty, petite, and delicate.

My BIG Y is always thinking of me. I can tell by the all the gifts, the endless thoughtful correspondence, the candle-lit Italian dinners (can she eat!), those romantic weekends in Adirondack cabin retreats, four-day Caribbean getaways, and annual holidays to the Greek Isles: Mykonos, Naxos, Paros, and especially big Lesbos.

Lately, my betrothed as taken up yoga and ballet. I think it's time I proposed to my delicate Moon Orchid flower. (Or is it Moth Orchid??)

I'll have a big backyard wedding in some low-rent backyard wedding in Woodbridge, Va., I mean at the Trump International Hotel in D.C.

I'll have to invite that money grubbing roach Wall-P and its his awful Staff ... GASY the Hangry Chipmungorilla (unless he's busy stealing tangerine-flavored steaks from his nearest Giant) ... J-Me (since it has been a while since I was viciously insulted in a lights out cage match of ego and wits over, well, nothing) ... the incessantly Honking Goose ...

I'll also invite, of course, the vapid and vacuous blob of all-consuming self-absorption known as M. WADE Tipamillyun (is it tax season already?) and his beloved Crow Creature. They always travel together and they'll arrive together in the former's newest and whitest BMW.

Oh, and of course, the entire truly useless and deeply depressing Larry's Trap-House and Opium Den gang to include the Crypt Keeper and Psycho Gollumo, the Milwaukee Lawn Gnome (he'll have a BEER), the Polish Kielbasa, and anybody else I forgot.

I'll be so beautiful and such a celebration of life and love... On second thought, forget it. I can't stand anyone of them.

OK, that's all.


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