Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Screw the Cincinnati Zoo; It Doesn't Deserve to Have Endangered Animals In Its Care -- and Thane Maynard, Put the Selfie Stick Somewhere

Sorry, Harambe. Humans kinda suck.


You know what? Fuck the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden. It doesn't deserve to have a gorilla exhibit or any animal exhibit.

As for that little four year old brat who slipped over a flimsy rail of some sort and slid 15 feet into a watery moat for the encounter with 17-year old Harambe -- an endangered western lowland gorilla that paid with his life because the zoo failed six ways to Sunday to do its job -- well, I wasn't there, so I don't know the immediate details -- although, to invoke what Jeff Corwin said, it wouldn't shock me if it involved a selfie stick distraction.

Whatever the case, and not surprisingly, the online social media response against the mother, whose neglect that day has been compounded by her flippant and tone-deaf response -- Michelle Gregg -- has been fast, furious, and ugly, which, as sure as night follows day, prompted the internet Thought Police to swing to her defense. This is particularly egregious at the unreadable Salon.com site where a particular brand of female Irish-Catholic feminist thought police flourishes that exists to enforce hyper-political correctness.

This includes Mary Elizabeth Williams and, previously, the incredibly annoying Joan Walsh. They and their ilk are the descendants of the rightwing Republican variant that prospered during the late 1990s Clinton - Lewinsky sexcapade (I'm thinking of the Kellyanne Conway (née Fitzpatrick) sort).

But I'm getting off topic. Instead, let me just I say that it was ROYALLY stupid of Gregg to post anything on social media -- all the more so in a Facebook post, subsequently deleted, that was at once incredibly indifferent about what really happened and instead featured standard American bullshit about how GOD ALMIGHTY, MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH AND ALL THE MULTIVERSE IN BETWEEN, SWUNG INTO ACTION to save her child.

However, I am far more pissed off at the stupid zoo and that camera-hogging, self-aggrandizing executive director, Thane Maynard, who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near endangered animals.

The son-of-a-bitch had ONE task to do in his professional life -- and it DIDN'T involve his own media image and publicity.

Rather, it was to protect a highly endangered, highly intelligent great ape primate that was in his lifelong care (itself a problematic concept but let's not get into that now), and he couldn't do it and instead it ended in the usual American psycho-sexual guns ablazin' way.

Say, Thane, may I suggest a place to put that banana?


Not to worry, though, because Thane Maynard -- always eager to have his "90 Second Naturalist" picture taken in other circumstances, seems just fine to "stand by the integrity of the decision" or some such bullshit. Oh, and did I mention, this was just one day after the gorilla turned 17 years old and the zoo "celebrated" that on its Facebook page (since removed).

I'm glad to hear that there might be criminal charges -- specifically and hopefully against the zoo for negligence and endangering humans and an already endangered species. True, I've no doubt this will end in countless lawyer-enriching lawsuits with high profile attorneys swooping into the fray and nothing will be resolved.

Also, I'm glad that the animal rights group Stop Animal Exploitation NOW! filed a negligence complaint the zoo with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, which is responsible for ensuring safety protocols of zoological exhibits. The $10,000 fine is nothing but still.

According to the news report linked above, the group said in its complaint letter that the child's ability to get past the barrier was proof the zoo was negligent and should be fined for a "clear and fatal violation of the Animal Welfare Act."

Let's face it: Zoos are typically little more than sideshow amusement parks for tattoo-covered, overweight, idiot Americans in thongs and sandals lumbering about on their way to the corndog-cheese fries-and-Dr. Pepper snack counter next to the bullshit gift shop where all manner of worthless kitsch is sold that ostensibly goes to "help carry out the zoo's critical mission," but that's all horseshit.

Oh, and naturally, Donald Trump -- himself a half-human, half-orangutan -- had to say something stupid to draw attention to himself.

So frickin' annoying and just wrong.

OK, one more entry to follow tonight.


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