Monday, March 19, 2012

I Don't (Heart) Gay Men -OR- This Bird Has Flown

A young guy with "I (HEART) MEN" shorts at Nellie's, Washington, D.C., 6:15PM, March 18, 2012.

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This entry is to note the fact that I a thoroughly rotten encounter with C/H, and I'm actually pissed off about it, as explained below. Of note, this is STILL not the entry I intended to post.

So to recap, I got to bed around 530AM on Sunday morning and didn't finally get up until about 330PM. Eventually, finally,m I got up and took a long bath / shower, got dressed, and went to Nellie's, where I saw him. It put me in a thoroughly foul mood. Thereafter, I went to Larry's Lounge, where I met Wendy and Kristof (oh, and nutty M.).

I got to Nellie's around 6PM, and while it was crowded upstairs, I stayed downstairs at first and had a bit of dinner.

I then went upstairs where I saw C/H. This refers to a Cobalt bartender from my pre-banishment period before Mr. Sirius and his D.C. gay mafia ruined everything.

Why is this important?

Long story short, C/H is a bartender for whom I had strong feelings -- really liked -- and I used to go to Cobalt regularly primarily to see him. But following the whole ugly gay mafia episode, and an indirectly related nasty encounter with him about a year ago, I realized it was a lost cause.

However, unexpectedly, last Nov. 26th on my birthday, he was at Nellie's drunk and unbelievably friendly to me. I guess I fooled myself into believing this meant something when OF COURSE it did not.

I should have known this, esp. when two e-mails -- a Christmas greeting and a message 2 weeks ago -- were ignored.

Nellie's, Washington, D.C., 6:44PM, March 18, 2012.

Tonight, he was there with a friend (whom I know and to whom I spoke while he was away ordering a drink). I went up to him and it was pure unfriendly shit with a nasty scowl.

I immediately walked away from him (subsequently btalking to his friend when C/H went to get drinks).

In a weird way, I'm quite glad this happened because it totally disabused me of any notion about my relationship with him. I am also very pissed off about it because I don't deserve to be treated so shitty, and I truly resent the fact that this is how it goes about 4 out of 5 times -- all the more so that I've done nothing in the intervening time to warrant such shitty treatment.

Upstairs at Nellie's, Washington, D.C., 7:08PM, March 18, 2012.

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I think this is one of the things I hate the most about the D.C. gay community -- the unpredictability of it so that you can never tell what's what. Now in his case, it is even more extreme, but still.

Anyway, C/H, I promise that I will never bother you again or ever acknowledge you again. And in return, I simply ask that no matter how happy you may feel at some random point when you see me in the years to come, please don't ever talk to or in anyway interact with me again. I don't need this vicious and unpredictable emotional treatment in my life.

OK, that's all for now. I shall try to update this blog Monday night (early Tuesday morning). Otherwise, my next planned update won't be until Wednesday.

--Regulus

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