Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Blogger Buddy Bryan: So Much More Than He Knew

My blogger buddy friend Bryan has died.

Here is a picture of Bryan on a commuter train in New Jersey somewhere between Camden and Trenton on July 22, 2008. This picture was taken from his blog along with several others posted here. I'm not sure how long his blog will remain up (as explained below).

While his blog name was "Bryan Nothing More", in real life he was Paul Bryan Haberstick (he never would have forgiven me for writing out his full name in life, but I guess it doesn't really matter now, does it?).

Bryan was found dead in his house in Trenton, New Jersey by his dad on Tuesday morning (May 5).

Here is a picture of Bryan with a shirt featuring an image from our Australian blogger friend Fifi's blog. It is an enchanting picture of Fifi in the ocean near Sydney.

I've posted that picture myself on my blog before.

Bryan's sister Char posted an entry on his blog on May 5, 2009 about his death and she is actually answering his email. This is very kind of her as otherwise I would have known nothing. She has access to his blog.

As you may know, Dear Reader, I am from New Jersey originally, but the shore area around Long Branch - Sea Bright while Bryan, who was a few years older than me (I believe he was about 40), lived in Trenton.

Here is a picture Bryan took in Atlantic City, New Jersey on Nov. 5, 2007 of the ocean and the pier there on a bright fall day.

I knew Bryan for about three years back to the early days of my old Arcturus blog. (That blog no longer exists and I have another Arcturus blog dedicated to Mr. Sirius. I'll spare everyone that topic.)

Bryan found me and my blog and began posting comments initially as "LW" ("Lurking at Work" he said it stood for -- he worked for the New Jersey Department of Labor).

Here is a picture of Bryan from March 1, 2007 looking out from his office across downtown Trenton (what a dump Trenton is). That's the state capitol building in the distance.

I never actually met him in person but we talked on the phone many times, usually in the wee hours after I left Cobalt and was drunk myself. Bryan had many issues, including a serious alcohol one. He often expressed how unhappy he was with his life and did not plan on being around very long, but after 3 years, I sort of took it for granted that this is how he talked.

Bryan --who often expressed affection for me and even a romantic interest -- gave me several presents in the past year, including my Sunshine Buddies (see previous entry), a plush animal that is supposed to be a hippo but looks more like a teddy bear ("Charlie" is his name and he joins Flippo and the rest of my menagerie) and a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Bryan knew I had a thing for hippos.

Byran enjoyed riding the commuter trains between Trenton and Camden. This is a picture from Mar. 15, 2008.

Bryan was also close to my blogger friend Rita who lives in Oregon. She texted me last night to alert me to the post on Bryan's blog. I spoke to her last night. Rita (not her real name) is a very good person and I am lucky to have her as a friend as well.

Here is a picture of Bryan taken sometime last year. It may have been in Atlantic City but I'm not sure.

The last time I talked to Bryan was last week. I was bitchy on the phone and the next day I texted and emailed and apology and he said not to worry about it. I feel so badly about that now.

I'm really sorry, Bryan. And I'm sorry I could not have been more to you. I'm glad that you were my friend. If there is anything else after this life, any better other place, I do hope and pray that you are there now.

Bryan is survived by his sister and, I think, a brother, as well as his parents. He was very close to his uncle whom he used to talk about so much.

Goodbye, Bryan. Thank you for being my friend and for caring about me. I'm sorry that life's journey was so difficult for you and that it ended all too soon. You will be missed by more people than you may have realized. I will be one of those people.


Rainy Tuesday early evening, University of Maryland, College Park, 5:05PM, May 5, 2009


I wanted to post a longer entry about Bryan but I'm tired, drained, and feel flu wracked. Hope it's not swine flu... I actually went to the gym on campus and spent 45 minutes swimming after a half hour cardio workout. I guess that's good. I remain very worried about what happens after I graduate. I'm so lost.


Anyway, we are having a rainy deluge tonight here in D.C. with about an inch of rain in the past 90 minutes. This continues our very wet spell and -- after a near-record dry January - March period -- we are just about up to year-to-date normal. Another t-storm cell is moving through as I write this. My friend Gary, who lives in upper NW D.C., actually lost his power tonight.

Rainy intersection of 16th and U Streets, NW, and New Hampshire Ave., NW, Washington, D.C., right near my apt. building, 9:41PM, May 6, 2009


Here was the Sterling (LWX) radar at 12:06AM May 7, 2009 (a few hours ago). Note the big cell approaching D.C.

Here is the Sterling (LWX) radar at 12:15AM May 7, 2009 as the cell was over the District.


I love rainy nights but I don't like when there are serious weather disruptions. I suppose I don't always make that clear in my rants about how we don't get "any weather" here in D.C.

I think that's all for now. What a lousy day and week this has been.



Rita said...

That was a wonderful post Regulus. :)

Bryan's passing has made me realize how personal & real my blogging relationships can be in that blogging friends can be real friends even though you never really meet the person in "real" life.

If something ever happens to me by chance or accident I will be sure that my blogger buddies are alerted. If only because I feel my blogger friends deserve to know along with my other friends.

к.нео.физ.де.му said...

nice of you to write these kind words!

fifi said...

I liked him so very much.
I loved his quirkiness, his sense of fun, amongst the sadness and pain of his everyday life.
How he loved music,
So much more.

Life can just be too big.

Regulus said...

Thanks, guys, for your comments.

Fifi, as ever, you managed to say it so beautifully ...sometimes, "Life can just be too big."

krzysztof said...

This is just so unbearably sad. I remember you handed me your phone once on our way back from Cobalt and he and I spoke briefly...
I don't understand death... never had never will

Regulus said...

"I don't understand death ... never had never will"

That's because (like any angel) you'll live forever, baby. Metaphorically speaking, if not literally.