Wednesday, May 21, 2008

On second (and third) thought ...

UPDATED: I decided to (re)post a slightly revised version of the previous entry after all 'cuz the whole thing is bugging me.

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... I have decided to take down, at least for now, my May 20, 2008 entry "Local Comedian Mr. Sirius Speaks" that was my reply, as it were, to the hateful and wholly gratuitous comments he made about me in his current blog entry.

--Regulus

7 comments:

krzysztof said...

Ohhh, I never read it. and now it's gone. boo

Regulus said...

I reposted it, Kristof, and now you may read it for your edification and / or enjoyment at your leisure.

Yay.

krzysztof said...

You did it just for me? oooohh. My script is computing zonal means of some shit right now so I have time to read

fingers said...

Is there any reason, other than a strong desire for self-annihilation, that you read the guy's blog ??
This is like watching a great artist slashing his own works because some clown he had a crush on is doodling for coins on the sidewalk...

Regulus said...

Fingers:

Ha ha. OK, that made me laugh. Thank you, Fingers. I really appreciate that.

The idea is for my Arcturus blog to be dedicated to Mr. Sirius stuff and this blog to be Mr. Sirius-free, esp. as I do not want to annoy my readers with my tired and worn out obsession. Alas, it has been working out the opposite.

A few points: First, IF I met him today, based on a variety of factors, I would NEVER develop those feelings.

Second, I am LOATHE to give all of it up because I HATE the fact that I will have spent 7-1/2 years with these feelings, all to have it end up in a metaphorical pile of crap in which I'm left with, basically, nothing. Except I realize that that is exactly what I have anyway. I REALLY don't want it to be that I end up with only contempt for him (such as he has for me). It means that out everything there came only some more failure and feelings of disdain. I don't want that, but it may be unavoidable.

Third, I hate the idea of replacing my fixation, however bad it may ultimately be for me, with nothing.

NOW, I realize all of these reasons are hopelessly self-defeating. And I would like to point out that the very fact that I set up my blog(s) originally was as a creative outlet to express my feelings about/toward him. The latter ended when, I believe, he stopped reading this blog. if he ever did. I don't believe he does so anymore.

But ending the former, well, to some extent it calls into question the need for at least one of my two blogs.

Bottom line, I'm confused and don't know what to do, and just sort of lost.

However, out of all that confusion and pain came the fact that I made some very interesting and intriguing and nice blogosphere friends such as Fifi and you, despite the fact you guys live in such different worlds than I do.

OK, that's enuf rambling. I will be by your blog tomorrow to read the latest installment of true life crime stories!

Bryan said...

Waves @ Regulus from a turnpike exit!!

Wish you were here!

Bryan said...

Michigan??? I was in freaking NJ.

I was staying at the Hilton? I was not!! I was, sort of, Hilton owns them.

It lies!! Lies lies lies!!! ALL LIES!!! lol

What does your thing say? I wasn't in Michigan!!!